Even Einstein, could not figure out what love is. Why do we love only one spouse? Why does it stop? Why is heartache the most painful of all aches? We need to start from the beginning. What is Love? Is it a neurological disorder or combination of thoughts, smell, and touch? Attraction towards someone’s beauty is often mistaken for love. If we believe in love at first sight, then how do the blind fall in love? How do you explain the love a mother feels for her unborn child?
A lot of romance is portrayed in movies. In the movie Sleepless in Seattle; standing on top of the Empire State Building waiting for someone who you have not seen is something that will only happen in the movies. In reality and in today’s modern times, someone would pick up the phone and talk in an hour’s time, counting from the time of initial attraction.
The legend goes that we were all one being with four arms and four legs with single head made of two faces. We were split from each other, and we spend our entire lifetimes searching for our second half. It is said that when the two parts find each other, there is an unspoken understanding of one another, that they feel unified and would lay with each other in unity and would know no greater joy than that. So it’s extremely rare to find a couple who truly completes each other because our second halves could be on the other side of the world and we may have compromised with the one we love.
Love has also been defined as a testosterone high, highest during our teen years and lowest during old age. Some settle for people who have displayed love in the form of gifts, money or even sex. Our entire lives we live with one person, assuming that the love once shared is going to remain through eternity. I feel if we survive the storms together with someone, then the ride ahead is much smoother. However in our materialistic world we often lose hope and don’t hold on tight enough. It’s like a ship which is about to reach shore but is captured in a fierce storm. You either hold on or you jump ship.
In our quest for true love, we come across variations of love. Love during our college days was all about the Rose Days and the Friendship Days. Love during our middle age is acknowledging each other or accepting each other. Love in old age should be about the fact that you can laugh together and complete each other’s sentences. When I hug my son today, I know I’ll be gone someday. He will have to feel the pain of losing someone, so I limit my love for him sometimes to make him stronger to accept that I won’t be around all the time.
Love is not about completing fifty years together, if out of the fifty years you ignored that person. I am not an expert and I cannot even begin to define love. But I feel that love portrayed in movies, in novels is overrated. The love you feel when you acknowledge someone’s presence in your life, the acceptance of the value of that person in your life and the looming absences is what keeps you going. For the rest of the time there is always a romantic movie to delude you into thinking that love is eternal.
September 29, 2013