Cross my Heart

Do you know how liberating honesty is?  The definition of honesty:

Truthfulness, sincerity, or frankness or the freedom from deceit or fraud.

A year ago, I probably wasn’t as honest as I am today. When someone used to ask me how they looked I would generally lie to avoid an argument or disappoint the person. I always believed that if you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all. I did not realize this applies when you shouldn’t hurt someone with your words in an argument and not when someone wants your honest opinion.

Today when someone ask me about what I thought of their article or the dress that they are wearing I am outright honest. I find that liberating. That’s why I appreciate the honesty that my friends who don’t read my blog show, by not liking it, if it doesn’t appeal to them. But I also appreciate the support shown by friends and family who while hating reading, make an effort to read it. It takes all kinds to make this world, doesn’t it?

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When someone recently asked me about an article that he had written, I had two choices. Either I could sugar coat it and lie through my teeth or I could have explained my viewpoint in an objective manner. Even while speaking the truth, the question of whether the person was accepting what I was saying or would this be my last interaction with him, was playing at the back of my mind. But I decided to instead concentrate on why I didn’t like the article, as objectively as possible. I crossed my fingers that he would understand. Maybe the fact that I didn’t know him emotionally as a friend helped me to be objective. But after saying what I had to say, it was a relief because I believed that he had more potential and I wasn’t ready to give up on his article yet.

There is also something known as white lies. This should be only used in case the person who is terminally ill and by lying to them your just helping their heart heals. Under no other circumstances are these justified.

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But being honest has its flip side sometimes. You can be a critic to a person publicly and may cause more harm than good. But even in those moments of doubt when you had wished you had lied about the issue, you will somehow feel more at peace. Let’s face it. We really don’t want to live our lives pretending to like someone, or to falsely encourage them. How long will you carry the lie? Eventually everything is always revealed. My point is stop being diplomatic. If you trust your friendship or in certain cases you don’t mind if the person never speaks to you again, be honest. The person you lie to also gets the vibes that you’re lying to them so it anyways has cracked your relations.

Speak your mind now, don’t worry about the consequences. The universe is big enough for people with conflicting opinions. When you speak the truth with facts, mind you not just something you’re assuming, it will set your heart free. They say when you speak the truth, you don’t have to think. Because lies are thoughts which have been filtered by the brain. The words that come from the heart is what makes you human.

K

November 13 2013.

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31 thoughts on “Cross my Heart

  1. Well there are lot who are honest,as u say but when others get honest about them they want like it and react very badly. So it has to be both way. That is why some prefers to tell lies to avoid fighting.

    • See, if you know you are 100 percent right with FACTS like i have mentioned not assumptions then the person may initially get defensive but in moments of peace he will contemplate whether what was said was correct or not. Of course it has to be both ways, Its human tendency to retaliate if someone says something negative about you but if you say it in an objective form without making it personal the other person will listen

  2. Thank you Khushnuma for the honor…i really appreciate frank and honest feedback…i’ve said so in so many words to you already, and wish to reiterate here…only someone who can’t digest negative feedback will never ask for it…we OWE it to our readers…specially the ones who are “hooked”…. cheerz…all happiness…and THANKS again for selecting our interaction as the subject of this write-up…i really really appreciate it…KOW ( keep on writing)!!!…. trw.

  3. Totally agree, Ms K. Not all people will like to hear the truth, but I’m sure that in the long run they will appreciate you for pointing out what was needing attention. There are some people though who are quite tactless in telling the truth — they either make or break people. I’ve had friends like that before, and I reckon they crystallized me into the person I didn’t believe I could become. I’d still consider these people — people like Simon Cowell — a blessing from up above. It’s as if they are sent to test us or shaken us in order to become better as individuals.

    Before I become busy with things — Happy Holidays to you and family!

    If you celebrate Christmas, then I wish a blessed one and glorious New Year ahead!

    • Yes i was like that , used to be very in-your-face , then i actually started wondering why a person is saying something , trying to be a psych. So i learnt to say it with a pinch of sweetness , which was more appreciated .

      Thanks .. Wish you the same , health wealth and happiness throughout the year ahead.

  4. the sad thing about the honesty policy is that some people really do want to be lied to. I try to avoid these people like the plague, but some are related to my husband. I am honest, at times to the point of what seems brutal to some, do not ask my opinion unless you want it, that kind of stuff, but there are many people who are conditioned in the art of the white lie, that it is expected. Loved reading your take on the subject – have a great day!

    http://mylittleavalon.wordpress.com/2014/01/03/truth-or-dare/

    • thank you . Reminds me of the song Lie to me from bon jovi i think . Baby even if you dont love me Lie to me . For such people i look them in the eye now and tell them honestly ?? I don’t think they wait for the answer then.

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