Truthfulness, sincerity, or frankness or the freedom from deceit or fraud.
A year ago, I probably wasn’t as honest as I am today. When someone used to ask me how they looked I would generally lie to avoid an argument or disappoint the person. I always believed that if you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all. I did not realize this applies when you shouldn’t hurt someone with your words in an argument and not when someone wants your honest opinion.
Today when someone ask me about what I thought of their article or the dress that they are wearing I am outright honest. I find that liberating. That’s why I appreciate the honesty that my friends who don’t read my blog show, by not liking it, if it doesn’t appeal to them. But I also appreciate the support shown by friends and family who while hating reading, make an effort to read it. It takes all kinds to make this world, doesn’t it?
When someone recently asked me about an article that he had written, I had two choices. Either I could sugar coat it and lie through my teeth or I could have explained my viewpoint in an objective manner. Even while speaking the truth, the question of whether the person was accepting what I was saying or would this be my last interaction with him, was playing at the back of my mind. But I decided to instead concentrate on why I didn’t like the article, as objectively as possible. I crossed my fingers that he would understand. Maybe the fact that I didn’t know him emotionally as a friend helped me to be objective. But after saying what I had to say, it was a relief because I believed that he had more potential and I wasn’t ready to give up on his article yet.
There is also something known as white lies. This should be only used in case the person who is terminally ill and by lying to them your just helping their heart heals. Under no other circumstances are these justified.
But being honest has its flip side sometimes. You can be a critic to a person publicly and may cause more harm than good. But even in those moments of doubt when you had wished you had lied about the issue, you will somehow feel more at peace. Let’s face it. We really don’t want to live our lives pretending to like someone, or to falsely encourage them. How long will you carry the lie? Eventually everything is always revealed. My point is stop being diplomatic. If you trust your friendship or in certain cases you don’t mind if the person never speaks to you again, be honest. The person you lie to also gets the vibes that you’re lying to them so it anyways has cracked your relations.
Speak your mind now, don’t worry about the consequences. The universe is big enough for people with conflicting opinions. When you speak the truth with facts, mind you not just something you’re assuming, it will set your heart free. They say when you speak the truth, you don’t have to think. Because lies are thoughts which have been filtered by the brain. The words that come from the heart is what makes you human.
November 13 2013.