This is one of the most difficult choices one makes in their lifetime, because the consequences of choosing one over the other has to be accepted for the rest of one’s life. If we choose love over money, we will be craving for things which are beyond our reach. If we choose money over love we will have to face heartaches. We choose money over health, because we always take life for granted and are not afraid of death.
Let’s look at love. Love between parents, siblings, spouses or partners is essential for us. Without love everything you do in life, everything you achieve in life could always be inadequate. How different would our lives be if we didn’t have the ones we love? Imagine getting a huge promotion but not having someone to celebrate it with. Imagine missing your children’s’ growing up years while you were toiling away in a foreign land. Imagine you coming home to an empty house, after a particular grueling day at work. Imagine.
Let’s look at money. Money is essential for physical survival. Sometimes for mental survival when depression sets in and you need to get professional help. Money helps the sick get better. Money helps to put food on the table. Money is required for you to have a basic education. To make money, you need money. Can we live without money? No, the beggar on the street is proof of that.
Another phenomena I can’t seem to understand is of a single woman who wants to commit to a relation but will only look for a man who is financially well off. In India, we have this concept of arranged marriages where the man and woman meet over coffee and decide whether they want to live their life together. As crazy as it seems, this has more chances of success than the “love marriage” concept. Probably because the mind is used more than the heart, questions of financial independence, whether the girl will want to work after marriage etc. are common and are required to be asked. I know quite a few woman who are strong individuals and independent but will reject a man purely because he doesn’t earn as much as her. Marriage can’t be a rosy picture all the time, you have to struggle and if you have someone who you can share your struggle with, then why should the man be rejected for that? If you loved the man wouldn’t you have made the sacrifices for him? Then why do single woman wanting a meaningful relationship run away at the slightest sign of insecurity.
More important than love or money for me would be health. Without good health neither will you be able to work or provide for the ones you love nor will you be able to truly love from your heart.
So how do we strike a balance between the two? Some don’t need to make this choice and can have both, some choose money over love. To live a life without love is not to have lived at all.
So even though you may have loved and lost, understand that now you know who to seek for in life.Even though you may have been cheated and robbed of your money, you are more cautious and wiser.It’s not necessary to always choose one over the other; we can have both or none and still find happiness. For example when you volunteer at various charitable institutions you don’t do it for money or love. It’s probably done to lighten the heart or to acknowledge someone else suffering and empathize with them.
I think that we can have both. If we compromise on our wants, accept our choices and patiently wait for our turn in the rain, we will be rewarded with the rainbow.
November 25, 2013.