Parenting is a tough job. Let me correct that – it is the toughest job in the world. Men and woman have different notions of how to raise kids.
My husband is a hands-on dad, I wouldn’t have been happy any other way. He dotes on our little one and does all things a ‘normal’ dad wouldn’t do. He loves playing with our son after a grueling day at office; he makes bath time fun and gets him ready to go to school. Needless to say I am the villain of the house even though I spend more time with my son during the day.
But there are certain things that women do differently from men. There is no wrong and right way to do things, just different ways.
- Moms, while putting their child to sleep will talk to them, pray with them or sing them a lullaby. Daddies will show them the latest crashes of WRC (World Racing Championship) on YouTube on their smartphones.
- Moms will brush their teeth along with the child to show the correct way to oral hygiene; however daddy dearest will wait for him to finish, before he starts his own morning schedule. Because multi-tasking is a sin.
- Recently, while seeing the animated movie Monster Inc., we saw that the main character leaves the child back in her bedroom and the child is visibly upset at him leaving. When my son asked what happened, daddy dearest says- oh he is coming back don’t worry. I on the other hand told him the truth that the monster is leaving her and has to go to his home. I know that my son knows he won’t be abandoned by us but he should be ready to recognize that abandonment does happen.
- During meal times, patience levels are tested. Moms will ensure that within one hour, the meal is over. Daddy will prolong the meal, sometimes running after the child to make him eat.
- Daddy dearest will coax the child to sleep in the afternoon by playing with him and make him super active right before sleeping time; moms will just start the sleep timer on the TV and let technology do the rest. They don’t call me the villain just like that, you know.
- We go to a mall. Now this is the true test of a man vs. woman parenting. My son wants that toy car, toy gun, and that red shiny whistle also. I look at him with a straight face and tell him – “You have these at home”. He pleads, hands folded, droopy eyes, sad face the works. I start walking and the show continues. Daddy dearest, on the other hand goes and buys him a small toy, only when he has started joining his hands.
- We normally have a good cop, bad cop routine in our home. While dressing up for school, I am generally the one who is the bad cop. Somehow that works because we both want the same thing for him i.e. to be dressed for school. My son insists on one over the other. Sometimes I am the lucky one and he wants only Mommy.
The bottom line is, we both love our son like any set of parents would. We think we know what’s best for him and we try to imitate our parents while we are ourselves are learning parenthood. In his childhood, we try to find our own individual traits. Because of him we have realized our shortcomings and strengths as they are reflected in his personality. So even though we may agree to disagree on a lot of things, my child is loved and he knows it every single day. And that’s what should matter, shouldn’t it?
7th January 2014.