I want to feel,
I want to feel love again,
The way your hand felt rough, against my face.
The life line in your palm was long; you’re suffering lasting long enough.
The warm embrace in the middle of the night, when the demons in my head awakened , miss that the most.
If I shut my eyes tight, I can go back to the time,
When I had to just move my hand and feel your arm, sleeping right next to me, the familiar touch.
The birthday greeting, even before my feet touched the ground, is now a dream, a set of new clothes all waiting for me.
The hug that followed and the best wishes whispered in my ear, the familiar touch was so near.
Only for today not a harsh word to say, forgiving my mistakes along the way,
Life can be cruel, is all I have to say, taking you from me just two days after my birthday.
The last wish I got from you was on your hospital bed, I reminded you Ma- “wish me Ma today is my birthday”.
The familiar touch of the hand as it runs past my forehead, the hug, the kiss I got.
But the wish in a softer voice I should have recorded.
How do I celebrate my existence, knowing that I will be reliving your death so close every year?
The familiar touch, the soft kiss and the beautiful wish of health, wealth and happiness is all I ever want.
This day will never be the same; your favorite baby has aged on every count.
When I am old and ready to go, I will celebrate this day because I am going to be with you then.
The familiar touch, hugs, and kisses, all to be felt again.