A page from the diary of a celebrity wife

Hope is a funny thing isn’t it?

I know we have passed the stage where we need to proclaim our love to the world. The world has seen enough of our love to doubt it. But I want you to know that I still have hope.

I still hope that when we fight you will try to pacify me and not leave me to sulk in a corner.

I still hope that when I have had a bad day, you hug me like you don’t want to let me go. Just like the time you came back from a long trip and surprised me; the hug was real and the warmth was oh so tender then. What happened later?

I pray that you still care to know what makes me sad and you play my favorite tune on the music system so I can hum along, elevating my mood instantly.

I hope that one day I can sit with you near the ocean and watch the waves hit the rocks, each wave narrowing the distance between us.

Time has taken its toll on us and ‘we’ seem to have got lost along the way. You, with your new friends and your rising popularity and me, well with nothing but loneliness.

I look at the photos on our mantel and realize just how lucky we are to have reached where we are now. But to keep going, I need you to close your eyes and go back to the first time you looked at me. And see the shy, nervous but curious girl who was shaking her leg under the table wondering who the stranger sitting in front of her was. I want to close your eyes and see how you loved my every new look.

I don’t want to see all the ugliness that I see in your eyes today, when you look at me.

I want you to help me understand love and its limitations, to just go back where we left off.

I want to be in a place where I don’t have to pretend to be happy. So now the question is, do you want to fight for what we had? Or do you want continue living the lie and keep false pretenses?

Hope is a funny thing I say. It keeps you going even when you know the battle is lost.

But now I must go choose a suitable outfit for myself. There’s this reporter from society magazine coming to interview me on our successful marriage.

~K

28/8/2015.

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