Vice

They all mock me, the teachers, my classmates all of them.

Why?

Because I cannot do a particular pose of yoga and I cannot touch my toes. I am fat, not yet obese.

I put on weight easily and I love food and that is my downfall.

I have tried various diets and various methods but I would soon go back to my old ways.

I am a teenager who loves skirts and shorts but obviously I can’t wear them with all the elephant thigh jokes coming my way.

I have an addiction to food, to sugar, to all things that are fatty. It’s like how you have an addiction to drugs or alcohol. My weakness is food. So help me by encouraging me to give it all up and not making fun of me.

Come on walks with me and eat healthy with me. I know my pace will be slower but I will appreciate the company.

I know I won’t find my size of pants or the particular colour of a t-shirt in my size. I will settle for second best but please be patient with me while I try them out and do not sneer at my fat.

I don’t want your pity; I know I have inflicted this on myself. All I want you to do is look beyond the fat and see me.

I love the color purple, I love mushy songs.

I love bear hugs and I can give you a tighter one thanks to the huge arms. I may not have the right curves but I have more of me to love.

I want to lose weight and I am struggling. I may not show it you but look into my eyes: they never lie.

I want to write about all the aches I get but the one in my heart is the one that remains all day.

I want you to understand my struggle in the same way you understand the travails of an anorexic person trying to put on weight.

I know you must have already judged me by my appearance, but, never judge a book by its cover.

Thanks for listening to me; I am an ordinary person with a not so simple problem.

© Khushnuma

 

7/20/2014

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