Loss to the World

I don’t know how to say this. But I guess everyone at some point of time has been at the lowest point of their lives and would have thought it easier to just give it all up and go to sleep permanently. Yes, I am talking of taking your life. An act that has always been around. I don’t need to give you a definition of suicide but it’s the basic act of killing yourself.

Like everyone, I have had my share of moments where I have contemplated it. It was ages ago and I was a teenager and that is the scariest part. That I could have missed out on this life, my son, my husband if I had given up then. I am not sure what the reason was but it may have been loneliness or academics that may have pushed me to think of such a drastic step. As a teenager we are looking for attention, from friends from working parents, from perfect strangers. A random act of kindness shown to us would definitely brighten a day. My teenage life wasn’t dull but it had its share of heartaches and moments of triumphs. But nonetheless, I had at one point of time decided to give it all up. What a shame it would have been.

Today teenagers have it tougher. Thanks to social media, bullying has taken a whole new meaning. The smallest of achievements are propagated, making others feel inferior. Relationships are virtual, emotions take a backseat. It’s all about showcasing a perfect life even though the opposite may be true in reality. I don’t have the statistics about teenage suicides, but I do know that most teens today must have thought about it at some point of time. There are cases of suicides across all ages. Teenagers need more attention than the rest of us. It is this lot that requires the most help, because they haven’t even seen the harshness of what we call a life. The restraints are more during our teens, so we don’t know how to express ourselves, talk to our loved ones without the fear of being judged.

Those suffering from depression tend to look at the world through dark glasses. They are the more mature ones. One after another things happen to them which make their situation worse. But I genuinely believe now that if we surround ourselves with negativity, that is what we are going to get. If we are constantly whining about the wrongs in our life, instead of counting our blessings we don’t realize that things could be far worse. Then we tend to slip more into the hole of depression day by day. For every wrong in your life, there is a good waiting to be discovered. You just are not looking in the right places. For example, you got a bad job but your parents are healthy thanks to the money it provides, you got bad health but you got a job to provide for you and help you to improve your health. You didn’t have a happy married life but you got to experience love. You miss your kids but they are healthy and been taken care of. You heart was broken and she left you, but you have a family who loved you even before her. You lost your job but you’re still breathing, you got hands and legs that work you can still make it. Don’t give it up. Search for what’s important.

By surrounding yourself with people who matter, not with people who are constantly bringing you down you’re making a use of this life. Read novels, get lost in the characters, and let your imagination run. But don’t let your mind be idle. If you don’t like reading, do the stuff you like constantly, make it your passion. Volunteer at orphanages – believe me children have a way to brighten your mood. Think about this – if you want to give up today, think of the stigma (which I think is overrated) and the constant doubt that your loved ones will face. Whether they had done enough for you will haunt them for the rest of their life. Every life has a purpose however small. Fulfill it don’t waste it.

Just imagine, if I had taken drastic steps as a teenager I would have lost out on my nephews and nieces, travelling the world, helping my mom in whatever way I could in the end, my husband and my son who wouldn’t have existed if I wasn’t around. Now that would surely be a big loss to the world.

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K

January 18, 2014

 

 

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10 thoughts on “Loss to the World

  1. This is such an excellent message. Having raised 3 children to adulthood, I know for a fact that the teenage years are when they need you the most. They want their independence, but they still want to know that you’re their for them to listen and give advice–even if they’re being cranky teens. 🙂

    Depression is very real in teens, and very dangerous. Their brain development and reasoning skills aren’t fully complete. Add in depression caused by excessive academic pressure, rejection, bullying, or brain chemistry difficulties, and you could have a formula for suicide.

    I’m very glad that you didn’t make that decision, too. Not only would you have missed out on the beauty of life, but your loved one’s would be forever scarred and hurt by it. My brother-in-law committed suicide six years ago, and the family was devastated.

    This is really a meaningful post.

  2. I agree that people should always count their blessings, think of those that love them, keep an active life and don’t be idle and those things, but sometimes when someone is depressed due to a chemical imbalance, they can do all those things and it does not matter. I like your outlook and I’m so glad that you did not succumb to suicide and I like that you are warning others to see just what you have and all, but for depressed people, those things don’t matter because the disease does not let it matter for them.

    My daughter was the most active, highly achieving person I’ve ever known. She highly achieved until the day she put a helium bag over her head 4-11-13 during her 3rd year of medical school. She wrote in her suicide note that she had been depressed all her life and hid it from us to protect us from it. She was the last person in the world anyone would have thought would do such a thing. She died from an illness that made her feel lonely and full of despair when she had the world in the palm of her hands. She could have been and done anything she wanted with the intellect she had. She never complained about anything and her life was full.

    I’m not meaning to say that your post is not true or made with good intentions and I believe we should all try to see what suicide would do to those left behind….like me, I feel my life is ruined by her loss. But when people are depressed the disease overtakes them.

    The best thing people can do when depressed is to admit the problem to their parents (which my daughter did not do), seek professional help (which my daughter did not do). And I agree with you, most of the time it starts in adolescence and they are so vulnerable. Suicide prevention and awareness should be started in school and talked about openly. Maybe then people would not try to hide it due tstigmasitgma of mental illness.

    I don’t mean to make my comments as a slam against your post. Your post is made with good intentions, but there is so much more to depression. One of the worst things you can say to somone who is depressed is to “count your blessings because you could have it so much worse” or “you have too much going for you to be depressed” because when someone says this it makes them feel they have no right to be depressed and feel even worse about themselves. They can’t help the way they feel and they need professional help.

    • Thank you for sharing your experience and i sorry to hear about your daughter. Yes the part about depression is something i have honestly not encountered. But this was an eye opener to me as well. My post is for the youth who for trivial matters gives up on life , maybe a love lost, academics, bullying , abuse, without actually thinking of the one’s they leave behind.

  3. Hey Khush, this is very much needed. How much there is to value what we have – our life! I liked the way you’ve captured the critical meaning of life by slapping on suicide. And as rightly pointed out, we definitely need to focus on this topic from the tender ages in school to better tackle with this problem. Thank you so much for posting this!

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